Nikolai's Death Version I

There is no doubt I will be blamed for Nikolai's death. I get blamed for a lot of shit. It's always Bruno's fault. Bruno did this, Bruno did that.. Bruno said this to me, Bruno said that to me. Did you see Bruno do that? Were you there when Bruno?... I am used to it. I have never left a place or a situation without at least a few sentences being spoken after I've left. I attract blame. If a cat fell from the sky and bit everyone, it would be my fault.

The circumstances are too convenient. Nikolai and I have worked together for 11 years at the same harbor, everyone knows we quarelled quite a bit and as his second in command, I am now the new chief engineer. No one will even think for a second that Nikolai and I were actually friends.

I'll tell you the truth:

It was late. Really late. 5am. Most Saturday nights at the harbor are quiet. People go off in their social circles, some chase after women, some chase after men in order to be chased, some simply cannot stand an idle moment at home. Whatever their reasons, Saturday night is no night to be spent at the harbor. Once in a while, we do get a couple here and there who'd like to sit and stare at the moon. That's understandable; the moon has been romantic since day one and the harbor is no exception to the rule. We even have an advantage because our boats here add a special touch to the whole experience. Women have always loved sailors and men have always loved women staring at the sea. The reflection of the moon falling onto the water is really like the dressing on the salad. It completes the seduction game. Delicious.

Anyhow, there were no couples on any of the docks when I took my usual walk around 5. I walked all the way to the last dock.
My pockets were empty except some change and a large key I use to lock the gate. I should mention my shoes were wet because I almost fell in the water as I was trying to catch a couple of shrimp for breakfast by the large rocks at the north gate. It was quiet, relatively quiet. It's never quiet at the harbor. There's always some hustle going on somewhere though you can never hear or guess what it is. Somebody's selling oysters, the chinese are trading salt and pepper for salmon, the harbor hotel's owner is on the roof trying to fix the antenna, Leila is clicking her red heels together to attract customers. It's not loud here but it's not quiet either. Only the dirtiest of the dirty are around at this time.

As I reached the last dock, I saw a silhouette sitting at the end of it. It was Nikolai. He looked solitary and content. I watched him for a brief moment. I thought "look at you, Nik, sitting there quietly, not yelling at me or saving my life, so together, so wholesome, so posed.." I don't really know what people thought of him. He was not blamed for things like I am. He didn't really talk to strangers, didn't stick his nose into others' businesses except mine and most notably, he never took anything for granted. I turned around to see if I turned off the light in the office. I had. I turned back around. There was no Nikolai. So simple. So gracious. Gone in a moment.

That's what happened. I don't know what happened. It wasn't me.